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Find the right advice

如何正確地請教他人?

導(dǎo)讀：遇到問題了?想聽聽別人的建議?又怕麻煩到別人?尋求建議的正確姿勢到底是什么?一起且問且珍惜!

What would you do if you had a tricky problem at work? Or if while studying you came across a sentence in your notes you couldn’t quite understand? Or if you are simply lost in a new city?

在工作中遇到了棘手的問題，你會怎么辦?做功課看筆記時遇到不明白的句子，你又會怎么做?或者僅僅是在某個陌生的城市迷了路，你要怎么做?

When you are stuck in life there are many ways to move forward. You could spend time and effortbrainstorming to find the answers yourself. You could go to the library to peruse books. Or, you could consult Google or other Web-based resources.

這時候，有許多方法可供選擇，比如：自己花時間和精力，通過 “頭腦風(fēng)暴”找到答案;或者去圖書館翻翻書;也可以去問問谷歌或者借助其他互聯(lián)網(wǎng)資源找到解決之道。

But there is one thing many of us avoid – asking for advice. There are many reasons for this reluctance. For one, we do not want to bother others. They must be busy and have their own problems to solve.

但是，有種方法卻總被我們忽視——請教他人。我們不愿開口的原因有很多，比如不愿打擾他人，因為我們知道每個人都很忙，都有自己的問題需要解決。

However, recent research has shown fears about appearing incompetent by asking advice are totally misplaced. Far from inconveniencing or annoying the advice-giver, asking for advice may make others think you are smarter.

不過，最近的研究發(fā)現(xiàn)，人們其實完全不必?fù)?dān)心請教他人會讓自己顯得無能。向他人請教問題不僅不會帶來不便或是讓被問者感到厭煩，反而會讓你在別人眼中更聰明。

Harvard behavioral science professors Alison Wood Brooks and Francesca Gino, along with University of Pennsylvania business professor Maurice Schweitzer, discovered this phenomenon through a series of experiments conducted over the past few years. Their studies were recently published in Scientific American.

哈佛大學(xué)行為學(xué)教授埃爾森•伍德•布魯克和弗蘭斯克•吉諾，以及賓夕法尼亞大學(xué)的商學(xué)院教授馬利斯•施韋澤經(jīng)過幾年的實驗，共同發(fā)現(xiàn)了上述結(jié)論。最近，他們的科研成果發(fā)表登上了《科學(xué)美國人》雜志。

These researchers discovered that asking for advice is in fact a form of flattery. And in general, flatteryreflects positively on the flatterer, even if the fawning is insincere.

他們發(fā)現(xiàn)：請教他人其實是一種恭維。而通常情況下，恭維對于恭維者有益無害，哪怕他的恭維毫無真心可言。

Ego booster

自尊心大增

According to researchers, by asking someone to share his or her wisdom, a person can boost the adviser’s ego.

研究同時發(fā)現(xiàn)：請求別人分享智慧，能讓被請教之人自尊心大增。

But the power of advice-seeking has limits: You can’t boost someone’s ego if you ask something he or she has little knowledge about.

但是，這并非總是奏效：比如被問之人對你所問的知識領(lǐng)域知之甚少。

In one experiment, the researchers asked people to identify areas of personal strength and weakness, such as their knowledge of sports, musical instruments or geography. Next, someone approached them for advice in their area of self-identified weakness. The non-experts were perplexed by these questions and viewed the asker as less competent for seeking their help.

在一次實驗中，研究人員首先讓參與者說明自己在體育、樂器、地理等各個領(lǐng)域的強項和弱項。然后，讓別人去向他們請教自己的弱項，他們于是也被問題糾結(jié)，覺得向他們尋求幫助的人能力不足。

What are the implications of these findings? For those in need of guidance, says an article in The Atlantic, the good news is that asking an expert for advice can only help. The bad news is that this does not mean humans are “a bunch of altruistic saints” who will help whomever they can. We tend to like people who (at least pretend to) respect us. “It’s more evidence that, at least in the business world, flattery will get you everywhere,” says the article.

這些發(fā)現(xiàn)說明了什么?《大西洋月刊》的一篇文章這樣寫到：對于那些需要幫助的人而言，(研究發(fā)現(xiàn))好消息就是只要問對專家就能找到答案，不幸的是并非人人都是“無私的圣人”、愿意對任何人伸出援手。我們喜歡對我們表示尊重的人(哪怕是裝出來的)。尤其在商業(yè)領(lǐng)域，奉承更是屢試不爽。

So, to the millions of graduating college students who are looking for jobs now, apart from dressing appropriately and behaving with good manners, try to ask the interviewers some advice about the field or industry you are going to work in, as this will surely help you leave a good impression.

因此，對于數(shù)百萬正在找工作的大學(xué)畢業(yè)生而言，除了穿著得體、舉止有禮，在面試時向面試官請教一些未來工作領(lǐng)域或行業(yè)方面的問題也會讓你留下更好的印象。